All things are difficult, before they are easy.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009, 5:08 AM

how?
how do i numb myself from all the mental tortures?
i dont seem to get tired of all these, but at the same time i want it to stop.
how did i even allow myself to them in the first place?

Tuesday, November 24, 2009, 2:41 PM

ive been having nightmares.
and strange thing is, its always the same freaky one.
is this normal? =/

, 4:40 AM

blogskin is kinda plain. will try and see what changes can be made to it. =)

Wednesday, September 09, 2009, 2:58 AM

im disappointed.

.

, 2:31 AM

sometimes i wish i was different.

.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009, 10:41 AM

im hooked to ginger beer, but daddy said that its not good to drink angus o'neil's that often cause the ginger taste is too strong.

will be having exams in less than a week and i can honestly say that im not prepared.

i dont have much moolahs with me. n i cant expect much this upcoming month since there's no reason for us to spend on food outside. =/omg, im still so young and im already thinking about money, money n more money. there's so many things that i need to pay for on my own. gaahhh!

when can i meet up with geylang n sisters? i miss everyone like crazy. but please, kalau nk kluar, kter gi tmpt yg murah2 ah k. as usual, nothing too fancy. =D sayang korang!

does anyone know how to earn easy moneyhh? please..please3 dun hesitate to call me at 1800-nana-desporado. hahaha yeahh..im thaaat desperate for money.

ohh..i love my family. its really not everyday that u feel lucky having them as part of ur life ya know. n today happens to be one of those days..i wanna thank my mummy n daddy for working hard n raising me up to be someone not even close to perfect.(heyy, i appreciate e fact that i still have alot to learn..okehh) oh, i love them all. *sighs*

training this friday..woohoo! cant wait to have fun..im looking forward to a hectic life with these bunch of people from school till before we step down. heh. go ssp! =D

n een, i didnt forget about u. u knw how much i love being with u, right? though we dont meet that often, u will always be the one i look forward to everyday. n i miss u so much right now..=))

i dont like my post today. so messy. ciaoo.

syg dier,
syg dier jugak. =)

Sunday, July 26, 2009, 9:54 AM

Gosh. I didnt think these things would happen. But it did. Im really sorry to have been an unreasonable person and following too much of my emotions. I tried to be strong, but when it comes to matters of the heart, i totally lost it.

Im still not sure if im okay with what i said - or maybe how i said it. I just wish all that didnt happen. I feel so bad after everything that you had to put up with. My attitude. Problems. Decisions. Feelings. Basically everything that affects you either one way or another.

I guess i havent been a good being to the people around me.

Definitely not a good daughter.

student? far from one.

friend? dont see much effort put into being one.

girlfriend?

.....

...

never does things right.

whoaaaa. that sounds like a L-O-S-E-R.

BUT NO. i dont want to be one. im not placed on this earth to be a failure. everyone is given the chance to live their life to the fullest and what the hell am i sitting here, blogging about how my life is failing? i should be ashamed of myself for thinking low of me. i need a new direction. a right one leading to success.

Yes, thats what i'll need.=)

haha. errr. i feel so awkward typing all that. but hey, if its for my own good, a method to motivate myself, then why should i care...

right? =D

i wanted to hug u so badly after all that happened over the phone.

can i ? now please?

Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 10:26 AM

Thank you for everything, Love! =))

everything is off my chest now. at least i managed to let Een know - well, one way or another(heh). it was funny how he found out, but deep inside, i knew my emotional side was acting up.

recycle bin. =P

I have to admit, being with him for e past one year was never an easy thing to do. He had expectations, and i have mine too. Apparently, we didnt lay them out earlier for one another to see. Thats where complications come in.=) Nevertheless, im thankful that everything happened the way it did.

Oh, and we talked. Practically about almost everything that we've not been telling one another. HEH.=P im hoping to hear more from him cause honestly, his life in e past seemed reaaaally interesting. (like i said, ur life story can be my bedtime stories every night..)

Earlier today, we had a camp debrief. Im really proud of e rest of the young lions cause we managed to pull everything together. Im hoping that we could put aside differences and work better together in the future, insya'allah. i know whatever that has been said in MLS room would be useful for us in our next upcoming event(whatever it will be luh).

Bonding session on Sat was a success, alhamdullillah. We succeeded in bringing 2 youth clubs together and insya'allah, we'll be working closely together from now on. I had fun playing those games that day btw.=D After bonding session, i went to silat ivp at NTU. N guess who i met?

KHAIRILLLLL!

gosh, so many things happened to him and im glad i met him after soooo long of not contacting! He's really doing well now. Good for him! =D

To my Geylang friends: whatever happened was absolutely unexpected. I just pray that we'll stick together no matter what wrong doings any one of us has done. Though it'll take time, i know we can stay together even if e odds are against us.=)

"what should i call you? Leh? Een?" *nervous*

Sunday, June 07, 2009, 8:42 PM

This is what im feeling right now

- Goofy =)